Photo by Jeremy Bezanger
It has always been taught to us that IQ is what guides our destiny and it cannot be changed through experiences. However, have you experienced situations wherein people of moderate IQ fair better against life’s challenges compared to those with a superior aptitude?
The author of the book presented the equal importance of emotional intelligence which composes: self-control, zeal, persistence, and self-motivation.
Emotion’s Purpose
For moments in our existence, we have been swept with uncontrollable emotions that seem to be knee-jerk reactions to situations we deem to be of threat to us. Parents are willing to sacrifice themselves in exchange for their child’s survivability, anger is produced when a hostile encounter is created, or an expression cold as ice is felt when an embarrassing moment occurs.
For most, they would argue that such situations could only be remedied with intellect alone, however, there was a time in our pre-history wherein intellect did not at least come into full fruition. Our ancestors had to rely on quick reactions to hostilities and dangerous environments to protect themselves and their families from danger and ensure the species’ continuity.
The incontrollable emotions we therefore occasionally exhibit can be attributed to our survival instincts but the days of ferocious wild animals have been drastically rare and have been replaced by unfriendly, rude, and sometimes downright hostile groups of people.
Emotional intelligence nature
Individuals even with high IQ can be poor navigators in the sea of life and at best IQ only contributes to 20 percent of life’s success leaving a spacious 80 percent for other forces.
Current academic qualities can only prepare us for the challenges that await us with lesser to no effect. Emotional intelligence offers a new window of meta-cognition which aids us in managing what we are gifted with and the raw intellect that we possess.
Emotionally capable individuals are well-tempered and marshall control over their inner battles, effectively deal with and read other people’s feelings and it can also serve as an advantage in life’s domain.
There are two (2) types of personal intelligence: Interpersonal intelligence is the ability in understanding other people and Intrapersonal intelligence, is the capacity to form an accurate and realistic model of oneself and use that model to operate effectively in life.
The majority of people will describe an intelligent person as someone who possesses practical people skills like the following:
- Knowing one’s emotions: Self-awareness is the cornerstone of emotional intelligence, being fully aware of the emotion, one is currently experiencing and being able to monitor such emotion.
- Managing emotions: How to handle feelings of oneself so that they can be appropriate. Being able to comfort one’s distress and anxiety provides support in life’s setbacks.
- Motivating oneself: Being able to create emotions to serve a goal. Emotional self-control—delaying gratification and stifling impulsiveness undergirds every accomplishment.
- Recognizing emotion in others: Empathy, altruism, or people skill. More attunement to the subtle social signals that signify other people’s needs or wants.
- Handling relationships: The art of relations in the larger scope is a skill in managing emotions in others.
Empathy
Empathy builds on self-awareness; the more open we are to our own emotions, the more skill we will be in reading feelings.
This ability to conceive other feelings assists in various domains in life and its absence is apparent in violent criminals.
Conveyance of emotions is passed usually through nonverbal ways (about 90 percent): voice tones, gestures, facial expressions, etc.
The term used before was motor mimicry and in the 1920s the word empathy was coined by E. B. Titchener. Titchener’s theory suggests that empathy comes from a physical imitation of the distress of another and another distinct term sympathy, is the general plight of another with no sharing of whatever that person is feeling.
This feeling stems from around two-and-a-half-year-old toddlers wherein they can distinguish other’s existence and they too realize others’ distress which is different from theirs.
A neighbor’s baby cries . . . and Jenny approaches and tries to give him some cookies. She follows him around and begins to whimper to herself. She then tries to stroke his hair, but he pulls away. . . . He calms down, but Jenny still looks worried. She continues to bring him toys and pat his head and shoulders.
Another’s trouble is also our own, to feel with another is to care for. In this sense, we can make that the origin of morality is found in empathy. The more empathic people are, the more they favor the moral principle that resources should be allocated according to people’s needs.
Fundamentals of the emotionally intelligent
It is to be emphasized that we always have choices about how we respond to emotion, and the more we know of ways to respond to an emotion, the richer our lives can be.
Self-awareness is a core fundamental, recognizing one’s feelings, building a thorough definition for them, recognizing the connections with one’s thoughts, feelings, and reactions, knowing if such thoughts and feelings are ruling our decisions, foreseeing the consequences of alternatives, and applying such insights to critical decisions and issues.
Emotional management, how to handle anxieties, sadness, rage, and being able to control impulses. It is also important in responsibilities regarding decisions, actions, and commitments.
A key ability is also empathy, understanding others, their feelings, their perspectives, and respecting people’s differences regarding certain matters.
Other competencies are also important and many of them are in the form of interpersonal skills such as: reading social and emotional cues, active listening, capability to resist negative influences, and performing appropriately in a given situation.
Significance of emotional intelligence
Aptitude in emotions contributes greater compared to the social and economic factors to one’s modern world survivability and resiliency. Individuals who are emotionally intelligent share key traits:
- Winning sociability draws people towards them.
- Self-confidence.
- Optimistic persistence in the face of failures and frustrations.
- Ability to quickly recover from upsets in life.
- Easygoing nature.